Where I work we have a database that includes descriptions of the staff along side their telephone number and contact details. Since this can be edited by anyone I have taken the trouble to add to their descriptions. So far no one has noticed... here are some of them.
1.
[Name Deleted] likes to tape office stationary to his body. Once properly attached he covers it up with clothing and then walks around the news room doing thrusts. If you ask him about this he will lie and tell you that it never happens, but the truth is I have video evidence.
2.
[Name Deleted] Holds the world record for unassisted human flight, having once flown from Dover to Paris without the use of camera trickery or an airplane, he just flaps his arms really really fast. If you ask him to show you, he will.
3.
[Name Deleted] has a draw full of those little polystyrene balls that you get in bean bags. When no one is looking she likes to plunge her hand into it and just swirl them around and around.
You can tell when she's doing it because she gets this far-away look in her eye, like she's remembering the last time she was truly happy.
4.
[Name Deleted] invented the water cooler as a way to keep Arctic fish alive in an office environment. Sadly the technology was stolen by corporate interests, in their 'thirst' for money and power the fish were left behind. As a result the life expectancy of an Arctic Grayling in the average office is under seven minutes. Talk about a glass ceiling!
There are more out there but that's enough for now I think.
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