I buried these stories in the Radio Station Database Program months ago. So far no one has found them so... while I suffer a little writers block I thought I would share them with you....
1. It was the summer of 1979,
Every kid on the block had a space hopper. One kid had one that was rocket powered. His dad was one of those insane mad inventor types.
To this day I have no idea how he didn't burn his feet off. The thing used to go like 20 feet in the air, but it left big holes all up and down the street.
Eventually the residents committee put a stop to it.
That was a week before the residents committee building mysteriously burnt to the ground.
2."Who shot me?"
He seemed more surprised than anything else.
Supply teachers never could keep us under control. They never expected heat.
"Seriously... which one of you little bastards is packing?"
We kept quiet.
You don't rat on a kid with a gun.
3. Once upon a time there was a giant bird, so fucking large that it could barely get it's fat ass off the ground.
Instead of flight the bird chose to roll around. Over the next million years or so, the bird developed a kind of internal axel. a core of bone around which the rest of the bird rotated.
Unfortunately it was much better at moving down hill than it was at moving up hill.
The entire species eventually ended up in the sea, and they were all eaten by sharks.
That's how we ended up with all the fat assed sharks.
4. "It's hopeless" he said.
And he was right. We looked around at each other. Our little blue Pixelated faces, all of us totally 2D.
"I'm not just saying this because I’m a lemming either, were just obsolete"
5. Underneath the building there was a kind of crawl space. I liked to stuff things down there. Sometimes for safe keeping, sometimes just to hide it from my sister.
I couldn't keep food there though,
Under the house was like rat city. Rat's move fast. They sound like they're tap dancing at incredible speed.
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